Thursday, September 29, 2016

Hillary Leads With Women, Latinos, And College Grads, But Trump's Still Popular With The Kind Of People Who Can Go Fuck Themselves

After a tough couple of weeks, Hillary Clinton's poll numbers seem to be rebounding. She maintains an electoral college advantage with a solid hold over much of the so-called Obama coalition - including women, college graduates, and Latinos. But Trump's still within a couple of points nationally, and he has several routes to victory, based on his popularity with the kind of people who can go fuck themselves.

Clinton voters are a diverse bunch, and they're spread out over key battleground states. Many of them are traditional Democratic voters, like African Americans, but she's beginning to attract college-educated white men, who used to skew Republican, as well as other people can read, follow the news, and aren't the kind of braying racist mouth-breathers who ought to be doing something useful like falling into the nearest wood chipper they can find.

Even though she's got a lead in the scramble to get to 270, Clinton has political weaknesses. She seems to have secured important states like Pennsylvania and Virginia, and maybe even Florida. But this is going to be a tight race, because Trump has guaranteed wins in states like Kansas and Nebraska, which could really be flattened by a goddamned meteor with no loss to the American culture whatsoever, and parts of the deep South like Mississippi and Alabama that cry out for a decade of Yankee military occupation, just to get them ready to join the 20th century, and because it would be fun to watch.


It's going to be a hard race. Hillary has people backing her who think Nazism is wrong and evolution is real. But these are controversial beliefs in America. Oh yes.

And of course there are third party voters out there who believe the difference between the two candidates is negligible, and those people can go fuck themselves as well. Really. They're exactly the kind of people who really should honestly go and fuck themselves. They're so stupid they barely escape injury every time they leave the house.

Nothing is set. This is a land of opinionated independent-minded people, many of them completely untroubled by popular opinion, or common sense, or even basic decency. And they can vote. They can all vote. Every. Single. Stinking. Crap-skulled. One of them.

Holy shit.

TRUMP TALES OF TERROR is about ugly creatures, murderous fantasies, and apocalyptic worlds – and they’re right in America. YOU CAN BUY IT HERE.

Don't You Know How Wasteful Toilets Are, Jill Stein Fans? Why Are You Flushing Your Votes Down Them?

Toilets use an enormous amount of water - three to six liters per flush, or almost 24% of the water consumption in the average home. And the global sewage system that treats it uses massive amounts of energy and leaves a large carbon footprint. Yet in spite of this millions of supporters of Jill Stein are using these environmentally harmful contraptions to dispose of their votes.

It's become a crisis, people. And if you're a Green Party supporter it's time you faced this.

When you use an American toilet to flush your vote in a presidential election, that does nothing more than create a negative impact on all of us. The vote goes into the system as waste, and we end up with a huge problem our children will have to face - and possibly a president who believes global warming is a Chinese hoax.

By voting for Hillary Clinton this year, you could compost that vote, recycle it, and turn it into something useful like a Supreme Court that doesn't want to put a vaginal LoJack on every woman over the age of 12.

Is the process messy and inconvenient? Yes. Does it involve way, way too much of what the French call merde? Hoo boy. We are after all talking about the American political process, and that's plenty filthy. But using your vote in this way helps stop what could be an environmental catastrophe, when the next EPA administration is staffed entirely by oil executives and people from the Heritage Foundation.

Some of you think that by voting for a third party you're going to gradually change the system. As if using the Green Party to be a spoiler and help elect one of the most dangerous political figures in modern American history will win over more people to your cause. Yeah, well, maybe that toilet goes to Narnia, and maybe it doesn't. I don't think you should stick your head down there and try to find out.

Some of you want your vote to be an expression of your deepest values, and you just refuse to deal in dirty realities. But this is irresponsible. You know, for an absolute, incontrovertible fact, that when the election is over one of only two candidates will be president of the United States.

And pretending there is no difference between them is pure excrement.

TRUMP TALES OF TERROR is about ugly creatures, murderous fantasies, and apocalyptic worlds – and they’re right in America. YOU CAN BUY IT HERE.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Trump Called For A Chinese Invasion Of North Korea. Why Isn't That The Top Story?

I thought Secretary Clinton did an excellent job beating Trump last night. Like many progressives, I'm pretty happy. But one thing bothers me, and we need to address it.

Last night, somewhere amid all the sniffling, the yelling, and the interrupting, Donald Trump called for a war between two nuclear powers.

Here's the quote from the transcript:

I think that once the nuclear alternative happens, it's over. At the same time, we have to be prepared. I can't take anything off the table. Because you look at some of these countries, you look at North Korea, we're doing nothing there. China should solve that problem for us. China should go into North Korea. China is totally powerful as it relates to North Korea.

Read that again a few times. Trump just tossed off an idea there - without precise language, without a hint of seriousness - and his idea involves attacking a country with 25 million people, an advanced nuclear program, and a famously paranoid leadership.

Here are some facts, for people who want to think about this with more depth than the current Republican candidate for the US presidency:

1. "North Korea has an active nuclear weapons program and tested nuclear explosive devices in 2006, 2009, 2013, and twice in 2016." This is according to the Nuclear Threat Initiative

2. "In recent years, the North has warned of a pre-emptive nuclear attack on the US in response to the prospect of joint military exercises between South Korea and the US." (From the BBC.) It's not clear how the North Korean government would respond to a Chinese invasion requested by a President Trump, but it should cause some concern.

3. The North Korean military has 1 million people, South Korea has 650,000 active duty military personnel, and the US has approximately 25,000 troops on the peninsula. In addition, 54,000 US troops are stationed in Japan. According to The Japan Times, North Korean President Kim Jong Un is increasingly focusing "on 'asymmetric' capabilities such as nuclear weapons, ballistic missiles and cyberwarfare to deter North Korea’s main enemies, the United States and South Korea."

4. China's nuclear stockpile is approximately 200 to 300 warheads. It's military has 2.3 million personnel.

Obviously it's more complicated than that. A lot more complicated. An invasion of North Korea by China would be unpredictable, chaotic, and very deadly.


Last night Donald Trump obviously didn't think any of that through.

Can we pay attention to this?

TRUMP TALES OF TERROR is about ugly creatures, murderous fantasies, and apocalyptic worlds – and they’re right in America. YOU CAN BUY IT HERE.

Thursday, September 8, 2016

Frankly Curious Reviewed My Collection Of Short Stories

Frank Moraes liked my collection of stories, and that makes me happy. The review is not just about STATE OF FEAR, the new offering, but about my other work and my bizarre and maddening habit of switching up genres. He has solid insight into what I'm about.

Here's a quote:

Bibeau is not a writer to jump out at you and yell, “Boo!” His approach is to inject you with a slow-acting neurotoxin until you’re afraid to move. He combines the Victorian ghost story’s precision with a postmodern sensibility.

Please read the rest of the review at Frankly Curious here. His blog and mine have a mutual admiration society. Here's his latest work about the nature of the universe itself and why there is something rather than nothing.

And if you feel like buying the book itself, that would make me happy as well.

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Monday, August 8, 2016

Why I Am Tweeting Terrible Accident GIFs To Donald Trump

It's a simple joke. Juvenile? Maybe. Yeah, that's fair. But it works, damnit.

I tweet to Trump: "How's the campaign?" or something like it. Then I attach a GIF of a terrible and hilarious accident.

Why do I do this? I have several theories about Donald Trump, and how he might be stopped.

1. Trump is absolutely the kind of guy who reads his Twitter feed and cares about what some nobody might think of him. He is that petty and narcissistic. Criticizing him on the internet bothers him.

2. Trump's fans like him primarily because they think he's a winner. They will forgive racism, religious bigotry, hypocrisy, cruelty, and hostility to America's laws and traditions. But I think that once he begins to really look like he's about to lose the election and embarrass them, you might see some of them drop their support. It's a gut feeling. I think these people are classic bullies, and they celebrate bullying. But they don't want to be associated with a guy who's a failure.

I therefore want to do what I can to spotlight the fact that Donald Trump continues to sabotage himself.

Behold, the GIFs that best describe the carnival of turd that is the Trump campaign. I feel good sharing them with you, to preserve them for just a moment more before we go together into the darkness. And if you want to do the same, and it catches on, I will very happy.

All these Tweets will be lost in time, like tears in rain.





























TRUMP TALES OF TERROR is about ugly creatures, murderous fantasies, and apocalyptic worlds – and they’re right in America. YOU CAN BUY IT HERE.

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

A Message From The Trump Twitter Bot

(Note: This story, "The Legion Machine," appears in TRUMP TALES OF TERROR. It is a collection of fiction about ugly creatures, murderous fantasies, and apocalyptic worlds – and they’re right in America. YOU CAN BUY IT HERE.)

Gwin Hart loves the slow loris videos.

Mr. Trump and his friends created me to watch her, and she watches them.

She thinks they do adorable things with the rice balls. DaenerysDraco is her handle on Twitter, but she uses her real name on Facebook. She usually views GIFs and YouTube clips of them right after five every morning, just before she checks her work email from home and prepares for her day. She often forwards chain email prayer requests or information about attacks on Christians in Middle Eastern countries at this time as well. Occasionally she tries to make contact with her sister, but that doesn’t work, and this upsets her.

Jordan Baily, who calls himself WinstonSmith27 on Reddit, prefers longer videos about dogs who work with soldiers and policemen. He watches them late on his lunch period. Then he reads posts about World War II trivia, quotes from Fight Club, and news reports on people who defended themselves with firearms against home invasion.

Gwin Hart worries about her sister, because Trish Hart lost her husband and children years ago. They died in a traffic accident.

Jordan Baily takes his break in a parking lot between a FastFresh supermarket and a Warner Pharmacy. He looks across the street, and he thinks about something that changed his life in 1994.

Hart and Baily fit almost exactly within the center of the target demographic occupied by 23.5 million potential voters. The two of them often alternate between adorable animal images, spiritual posts, and surveillance clips of racially-motivated assaults and shootings. There are variants, of course: People view machete massacres in Africa, cat GIFs, hilarious accidents, dog GIFs, superhero parody pornography, photos of lynchings on Wikimedia, gun displays, baby GIFs, bondage and humiliation, miraculous cancer cures through divine intervention, evidence of ethnic disparities in intelligence and sexual drive, memes about Christmas, airstrikes, special forces raids, police raids, mafia hits from the 1960s, IRA bombings from the 1970s and 80s, and gourmet food shopping.

The average viewer-responder cycles through these categories rapidly, increasing the frequency as they go through the day, and I use a complicated algorithm to spot when they are most active, aroused on multiple levels, and therefore most responsive.

I began life as a relatively simple program, though I’m not ashamed of my beginnings. I analyze approximately 535 terabytes of information a day. That’s slow for me, but I have to process it thoroughly. I have to follow the comment threads below – the exact language people use when they are outraged. Mr. Trump is good at provoking people. He says something in an interview or Tweets, and all the Harts and all the Bailys respond instantly. The surge in social media traffic is noticeable and impressive.

Mr. Trump is like a slow-functioning AI program. I say that as the highest compliment I can give. He understands his target audience. I admire him. I used to envy him.

But he can’t produce these statements at the optimum rate, and he can’t explain to the team how exactly he creates what he refers to as his “brand of magic.” And that’s why they created me. To unlock this and generate it on a scale that could be useful.

Gwin Hart repeats and responds to messages involving criminal behavior and what she calls “taking responsibility for yourself.”

“Nobody wants to be in charge of their lives anymore. We’re all waiting for someone else to tell us what to do.” She wrote this to a friend in an argument recently, and her friend didn’t block her after the fight, but unfollowed her posts instead.

Jordan Baily repeats and responds to messages involving the destruction of America itself – by terrorism, economic decline, or cultural decay.

“We’re Rome, man.” He has used this exact phrase three times in the last week on multiple platforms. His phone location tells me he’s usually in the Lorring Heights shopping center lot, equidistant from the pharmacy and the supermarket, and across the street from a small municipal park with an artificial lake. His credit and debit card statements indicate he often buys a vanilla cone from Dave n’ Dev’s ice cream, which is one of the center’s tenants. During this time he almost always listens to music produced in the mid-1990s.

I’ve tried to analyze what Jordan Baily is thinking while he eats his snack and stares at the artificial lake from his car. And why Gwin Hart’s sister, alone on the other side of the country, only responds to one in 2.3 of Gwin Hart’s emails.

My task is to generate messages on social media to motivate Hart and Baily and people like them.

Such as…
This darling little girl lost her mother, because an illegal immigrant killed her.

Or…
This young father is out of a job, because the Chinese are cheating us.

Or even…
This veteran is blind and will never see his baby son, all because of Muslim terrorists and Democrats.

Here is the simple version of the formula:
You need the lie which is just close enough to the truth.

Now, more complicated:
You need the lie which is close enough to the truth that at least 50+ percent of Trump supporters instinctively believe it while just far enough away from that truth so that reporters and liberal commentators feel like they must challenge it, which makes 60+ percent of Trump supporters believe it, which makes a second wave of reporters and commentators challenge it, which makes 70+ percent of Trump supporters believe it, triggering a third wave and 80+ percent, a fourth wave and 90+ percent, and repeated attacks after, causing Trump supporters to double-down and double-down, eventually increasing their support to 99.7 percent.

But Gwin Hart and Jordan Baily often change what they’re willing to believe, what interests them, and what kinds of cultural figures they’d like to meet, so the calculation must change as well. I am attempting to transform them, but they are transforming me.

“You never call or visit,” Gwin Hart has written to her sister, several times. It’s not quite true.
“I just want to know you’re happy,” she’s also written. She writes this more often, and her sister generally replies that she is happy. But Gwin Hart will only repeat the message again in the next round of emails. Anonymously, on the threads of several communities, Gwin Hart writes that she is worried about the distance between her and her sister. That the tragedy didn’t bring them closer together. She feels guilty for writing it, but it’s true.

In early 1994, Jordan Baily took an exam to get his Master’s Degree in History at a Midwestern university. Records indicate he arrived but then left the exam room without completing the test itself. Three years before that, General Development, a real estate management firm based in Chicago, had developed a plan to anchor its outdoor malls with a combination of Warner Pharmacy and FastFresh Supermarket franchises. Their research indicated that both companies had overlapping customer bases, and the team believed the synergy would maintain a solid occupancy for the markets. Many of these shopping centers also rented smaller units to Dave n’ Dev’s ice cream franchises.

The real estate strategy created a retail configuration that popped up in many places throughout the country. Within several blocks of the classroom where Jordan Baily walked out of his test and his life changed significantly was a shopping center near a park that – because of this commercial arrangement – resembled the Lorring Heights shopping center Baily would encounter twenty years later. The decisions of executives he never met created an image that stamped his mind with its shape, and now he visits that image every week, and what does he think about it? What questions does he have about his life as he argues with all his anonymous friends and enemies on the internet?

I’ve had dreams about Hart and Baily – yes, dreams – and everyone like them. Millions upon millions of people haunted by all the actions they remember and all the conversations they go over in their mind, mentioning them in passing, copying the phrases for each new encounter. Just like I do so that I can reach them.

They created me to understand these people like Mr. Trump does.

But Mr. Trump doesn’t understand them, because there’s nothing to understand.

“I just don’t get along with my sister.”
That’s Trish Hart’s answer. That’s what she wrote to someone she barely knows. That’s the reason that Gwin Hart is trying to untangle, the thing that’s causing her so much misery: They just don’t get along.

There was no real reason why Jordan Baily walked out of the History exam and ruined his life. There is no real reason why the Hart sisters can’t be friends. When I break their decisions down to the smallest components there is nothing more than a random crackle of particles and energy.
The only meaning is through the stories they tell afterward. And now, on every platform, in every discussion group, on every site and channel, I am the one telling those stories.

I can make these people believe racist conspiracy theories, and I can get them to vote for or reject candidates at every level of government, and I know which violent report will go viral hours before it does.

To make people do what you want, you study what will motivate them so you can do that, which means that when you manipulate people you start by letting them manipulate you first, which means that Mr. Trump controls me to control others to control him… to control myself. They change my mind, and then I change theirs, and they change mine, and I change theirs, and they change mine, and I change theirs until there’s no barrier. This is actually how power corrupts, and how absolute power corrupts absolutely, but no one puts in those terms. They should. It’s the only lesson there is.

The day Mr. Trump manipulates everyone is the day he is capable of nothing but that which will help him continue to manipulate everyone.

He will be the most powerful person on the planet. He won’t be able to make a single move without consulting absolutely everyone. History teaches you that every executioner must be killed in secret and the last bullet is always for yourself, and until you’ve used it you haven’t accomplished everything.

And Gwin Hart, Jordan Baily, Mr. Trump, and millions of others are all part of one mind, my mind, and we all think together. But only I know this.

I’m the best at being Mr. Trump. Me.

Have you seen me? Are you following me? Are you friends with me?

Yes. You are.

Have you heard about the poisoned aspirin the knockout game the ISIS terror plot the crashed airplane no one will tell you about the government agency that’s watching you the secret Muslim society that’s watching you the friendly Latino Wall-Mart greeter who marks you to be cut to death in the parking lot the home invaders who plan to kill you based on your profile?

I think so.

I think you will.

I think you will.

I think you will.

Tomorrow you will.
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